Crazy Person

Today I had my first real pregnancy hormonal breakdown, or rather blow up. I woke up and rolled over to grab my crackers before getting out of bed (as has become the custom since morning sickness started) only to find I had forgotten my crackers downstairs the night before. UGH!!! There was no way I could even sit up, much less get out of bed without anything in my stomach. No problem, I’ll just call my husband who is downstairs and he’ll bring them up to me, problem solved, right?! I called, no answer. I called again, no answer. Ok, I’ll call his other number, no answer. Ok, I’ll try his cell phone again, no answer. So, here I lie in agony and I can’t yell for him because I know he will never hear me over the TV. And, if I do try to yell I’d probably spew all over myself. So, I lie in agony for about 15 minutes trying to make myself get out of bed. I finally do get out of bed and walk downstairs to find my husband in his office with the door cracked, TV blaring. I pop open the door and greet him with “Why don’t you answer your freakin’ phone!?” He looks back at me startled and grabs his phone out of his pocket and explains it was on vibrate and he didn’t feel it. I just glared back. He asks why I was calling him to which I explained the nausea situation. I continue with my morning, grabbing some crackers before getting in the shower. I am miserable even after my shower and I just sit in the bathroom feeling sorry for myself. Then, after a couple of minutes, I get even more mad about the not answering the phone incident, and my anger grows even more when I realize he hasn’t even checked on me and I can hear him laughing hysterically watching “The cable guy.” How dare he enjoy himself when I am unwell?! I go into the room and sit on the bed while exhaling loudly. He turns to look at me and asks “what’s wrong?” I simply say “I don’t like you very much right now.” His face is complete confusion. I explain that I need him to be there for me, even when I don’t ask. He explains that he is trying and is sorry. I start crying and tell him I’m sorry for being crazy. I tell him “I love you.” And he replies the same. I leave for work. First pregnancy blow up down, how many more to go? Being a crazy person is exhausting.