Five

My little baby boy is 5 months old! He is growing up too quickly and getting so big. I am just in love with this little guy. He has really started to show some personality now. He started rolling over from back to front July 13th and the following weekend we caught a very “real” laugh, not just a little snicker but a full blown “ha ha.” It was so adorable. Of course we tried to recreate it and video tape it after it happened, but no luck. It’s hard to get a picture of Patrick smiling because anytime he sees the camera or my phone he immediately stops smiling and goes into this trance-like state staring at the camera or phone. It’s funny but also frustrating because I am sick of all these pics with his eyes bugged out and his mouth slightly open. :)
Since I haven’t been posting monthly updates on Patrick, I will give you his growth charts from the last few months….

Birth weight: 6 lbs, 12 oz./ 19 inches long

1 month: 9 lbs, 2 oz./21 inches long

2 month: 10 lbs, 12 oz./ 22 ½ inches long

3 month: 12 lbs, 12 oz./ 24 inches long

4 month: 14 lbs, 9 oz./ 24 ½ inches long

5 month: 15 lbs, 11 oz./25 inches long

I love seeing how much he’s grown but it also makes me a little sad at how fast it’s all going by.

Managing my diabetes has been really tough. It seems like I am either low or high or on my up or down. I never stay steady. I am still breastfeeding and I know that has a lot to do with it. It seems like I can never find patterns with how the breastfeeding will affect my blood sugar. So annoying and at times scary. I seem to have some hypoglycemia unawareness. I don’t feel most lows lately until I am in the 30s. But then sometimes I have really bad low symptoms in the 60s, I guess it just depends on how fast I am dropping.

I had a really scary moment this morning and it was my own stupid fault. I had woken up at 5 this morning with a horrible blood sugar of 344. I had changed my pump before bed and forgot to give myself a bolus or higher temp basal to get things going. I gave myself an injection and stayed up about an hour to make sure I was headed down. I went back to sleep and woke up to hear Patrick ready to get up. I got up, went and got him out of his crib and walked downstairs to get let the dogs out. It wasn’t until I closed the door to wait for the dogs that I felt a rush of weak knees and shaky hands. I am standing at the back door holding my baby. I immediately should have put him down and taken care of myself but instead I called the dogs back in and hurried to the glider (grabbing some gummy worms on the way) to start breastfeeding Patrick. Once I had him latched on I checked my blood sugar, a 63 popped up. Lovely. I could feel it dropping quickly. I immediately stuffed the gummies in my mouth.

I really need to get back on board with the incredible diabetes management I had when I was pregnant but it’s so hard. I feel like I am constantly running. Trying to keep the house clean, work, and take care of everyone else and everything else. I need to remember I have to take care of myself first or there won’t be anyone there to take care of everything else. (as morbid as that sounds, it’s true.) Gotta go back to the old story of making sure I put my oxygen mask on first. :)