"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you

meet is fighting some kind of battle."

Monday, September 19, 2011


So I know Patrick is almost 7 months old now, but I haven’t done his 6 month update, so since he is still 6 months, I’m going to go ahead and do it now. :)

He is just the most adorable little thing. His smile just makes me giddy with love. I love the way he looks at me when I get home from work, his face just lights up and he starts flailing his arms like he’s a bird trying to take off. He started eating solids this month. He didn’t really care for peaches but he loved the apples and green beans. I find it hilarious that his favorite is green beans since Cary absolutely hates them. His first foods were avocado, some rice cereal I made from brown rice and banana. He has also had pears, squash, sweet potatoes, prunes, carrots, and peas.

He is rolling all over the place now, but he still only rolls to the left. He is attempting to crawl but still can’t seem to figure out how to make his legs work. He tends to “army” crawl clockwise or counterclockwise or shimmy backwards. He sits up pretty well for short periods of time until he goes crashing to the side like someone just yelled “Timber!”. I love that I can actually put him the child seat in the shopping cart now. It’s so fun and he loves looking at everything and everyone. At his 6 month checkup he weighed 16 lbs, 7oz and was 25 ¾ inches long. I think he may have gained quite a bit in the last few weeks, he seems so heavy!
We got his 6 month pics done a day after he turned 6 months. We love them so much! Here is a link if you want to check them out.


Couldn’t be happier with them.

As for my diabetes, I have been taking better care of myself. I started wearing my continuous glucose monitor again about 2 or 3 weeks ago. So glad I finally got it back on. My numbers have been so much better already. I know I was definitely missing a lot of highs without it. My management is still nowhere near what it was when I was pregnant but it’s headed in the right direction. Maybe I’ll actually make an endocrinologist appointment soon! We’ll see. :)

Wednesday, August 3, 2011


My little baby boy is 5 months old! He is growing up too quickly and getting so big. I am just in love with this little guy. He has really started to show some personality now. He started rolling over from back to front July 13th and the following weekend we caught a very “real” laugh, not just a little snicker but a full blown “ha ha.” It was so adorable. Of course we tried to recreate it and video tape it after it happened, but no luck. It’s hard to get a picture of Patrick smiling because anytime he sees the camera or my phone he immediately stops smiling and goes into this trance-like state staring at the camera or phone. It’s funny but also frustrating because I am sick of all these pics with his eyes bugged out and his mouth slightly open. :)
Since I haven’t been posting monthly updates on Patrick, I will give you his growth charts from the last few months….

Birth weight: 6 lbs, 12 oz./ 19 inches long

1 month: 9 lbs, 2 oz./21 inches long

2 month: 10 lbs, 12 oz./ 22 ½ inches long

3 month: 12 lbs, 12 oz./ 24 inches long

4 month: 14 lbs, 9 oz./ 24 ½ inches long

5 month: 15 lbs, 11 oz./25 inches long

I love seeing how much he’s grown but it also makes me a little sad at how fast it’s all going by.

Managing my diabetes has been really tough. It seems like I am either low or high or on my up or down. I never stay steady. I am still breastfeeding and I know that has a lot to do with it. It seems like I can never find patterns with how the breastfeeding will affect my blood sugar. So annoying and at times scary. I seem to have some hypoglycemia unawareness. I don’t feel most lows lately until I am in the 30s. But then sometimes I have really bad low symptoms in the 60s, I guess it just depends on how fast I am dropping.

I had a really scary moment this morning and it was my own stupid fault. I had woken up at 5 this morning with a horrible blood sugar of 344. I had changed my pump before bed and forgot to give myself a bolus or higher temp basal to get things going. I gave myself an injection and stayed up about an hour to make sure I was headed down. I went back to sleep and woke up to hear Patrick ready to get up. I got up, went and got him out of his crib and walked downstairs to get let the dogs out. It wasn’t until I closed the door to wait for the dogs that I felt a rush of weak knees and shaky hands. I am standing at the back door holding my baby. I immediately should have put him down and taken care of myself but instead I called the dogs back in and hurried to the glider (grabbing some gummy worms on the way) to start breastfeeding Patrick. Once I had him latched on I checked my blood sugar, a 63 popped up. Lovely. I could feel it dropping quickly. I immediately stuffed the gummies in my mouth.

I really need to get back on board with the incredible diabetes management I had when I was pregnant but it’s so hard. I feel like I am constantly running. Trying to keep the house clean, work, and take care of everyone else and everything else. I need to remember I have to take care of myself first or there won’t be anyone there to take care of everything else. (as morbid as that sounds, it’s true.) Gotta go back to the old story of making sure I put my oxygen mask on first. :)

Monday, June 13, 2011

Patrick's 3 Month Pictures

We had Patrick's 3 month pictures done on June 4th. They are absolutely adorable! I was so excited to receive them today! If you would like to view them go to http://www.holliecolwick.com/ and click "Photo Galleries" then click "Patrick 3 Month". If you live in the Louisville, KY area, I would highly recommend Hollie! She is fantastic! Enjoy!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Patrick's Birth Story

Patrick’s birth story started February 14th. I left my house that morning thinking I was going to a doctor’s appointment then going to work. (To see that story, see my post for 37 weeks.) Who knew that when I left that morning, I would return home 9 DAYS later! So crazy! Which means nothing was ready. I had no bag packed, the house was a mess, the bathroom renovation was not complete, and Patrick’s room wasn’t ready. So fun!

So, to pick up where we left off….It was Thursday, February 17th…I sat in the hospital day after day, bored out of my mind. I missed my puppies terribly and I just wanted to go home. I realized I shouldn’t be complaining when the girl in the room next to me had been there since she was 13 weeks pregnant and had been there a total of 15 weeks! I would be a crazy person! (I have no idea why or what her condition was.) My blood pressure continued to stay elevated and my urine collection continued to climb. The doctor wanted to change the plan and shoot for an induction on Tuesday. Then that changed to Sunday when my blood pressure continued to climb. But all those plans changed again when my parents came in on Friday night.

My parents came Friday night and Cary had just gotten off work. We were all chatting and I guess the stress (even though good stress) made my blood pressure sky rocket. The nurse came in to take my blood pressure and it was 191/100!!! Yeah, great huh?! So I started stressing out about that which I’m sure made it even worse. I was thinking I was going to have to have an emergency C-section that night if it didn’t come down (the doctor never said that, but my hypochondriac mind did).

Saturday, the doctor came in to check me out and said we were going to try the induction on Sunday. My blood pressure was not looking good and it seemed like I was just getting worse more quickly than they would like. So, we would give the induction a go Sunday afternoon around 5pm. Patrick, however, had other plans.

I got up Sunday morning and took a shower, changed clothes, blow dried my hair and suddenly I had to pee. I went into the bathroom and there wasn’t any toilet paper. I went out into the hallway to get some toilet paper and suddenly I couldn’t hold my pee anymore. I ran back in my room the bathroom and I just started gushing. I yelled to Cary, “I think my water just broke, or either I just peed in my pants!” He went to get the nurse and she came in with some kind of strip to test to see if the fluid was indeed amniotic fluid. The strip turned blue or green or some color I can’t remember, which was a positive that my water had indeed broken! So immediately the plans began to get my down to labor and delivery. This was about 10:15am.

At labor and delivery they hooked up the IVs and started the Pitocin. They put the catheter in, which was horribly uncomfortable. Apparently I have a very tiny urethra, the nurse attempted it twice and then another nurse finally got it in using a pediatric catheter. The insertion was so awful. I progressed to about 3 cm in a couple hours. That was when I asked for the epidural. The epidural was a piece of cake, I’ve honestly had finger sticks and pod insertions that hurt worse than that thing. A few hours later, I was at 6cm, then 9 and by about 8pm, I was ready to push.

The pushing began and now in retrospect, I see I was not pushing correctly. I really couldn’t feel anything. I was pushing from my face. I had too much epidural. I couldn’t even feel the pressure from the contraction because I was too numb. That was a bummer. During the pushing I got really nauseous and puked a few times, though it was just water. They had to put oxygen on me at one point because I don’t think Patrick was getting enough. I pushed for 2 hours before Cary told the doctor, “This isn’t working, we need to try something else.” The baby’s head kept ‘turtling’(coming out when I pushed, but immediately retracting when I relaxed). The doctor suggested an episiotomy and forceps. We discussed and decided we would go for it. I was so exhausted by this point and was hoping I wouldn’t have to have a C-section. They brought the giant salad tongs in, um I mean, the forceps. (Yeah, that’s exactly what they looked like. Cary was completely freaked out.) I pushed a few more times and we had a beautiful baby boy!

It was so amazing! They didn’t hand him to me immediately. They took him to the little incubator thing to the side and got him cleaned up and checked him out. His lungs didn’t sound exactly right when he cried (it sounded like he couldn’t clear something out) and they wanted to take him to the NICU to make sure he was OK. I got to hold him for maybe 5 minutes and then he was gone. I was sad of course but I just wanted him to be OK. The neonatologist came in and started rambling through a list of things that could possibly be wrong with my baby. He went on, and on, and on….only to end the speech with “but with all that said, your baby will be fine.” REALLY!? You couldn’t have started with that piece of information? Geez!

I wore my pump the entire labor and delivery. My blood sugar had started to climb while I was pushing but I was terrified to take a bolus since I thought I would crash from all the work of pushing, so I didn’t bolus. Big MISTAKE. Of course I couldn’t have known that my body would react the way it did, but I felt so horrible a few hours after delivery. I had to stay in the delivery room for 24 hours after the birth on a Magnesium drip for my blood pressure. It was awful. They would come check me every few hours and everytime I had to move at all, I would dry heave. I was so sick to my stomach and my blood sugar was in the high 300s. I hadn't had a blood sugar above 200 in about 7 months so this was quite a bad feeling. I kept bolusing with my pump but nothing was happening. I just kept climbing. I was so scared. I told the nurse and she called my endo. He ordered 10 units of Humalog. She gave me a shot and we waited an hour. It still hadn’t budged. The endo ordered another 10 units. We waited another hour. It finally started coming down and I was relieved. I still couldn’t have any water at this point and I have NEVER been so thirsty in my entire life. I could have ice chips, but for some reason that just wasn’t the same. I needed to swallow, I needed water. The Magnesium kept me feeling very “drugged up.” I was like a zombie. In between my zombie-ness, Cary would come in with videos he had taken from the NICU of our baby. He was yet to be named at this point since I didn’t want to name him until I could see him again.

I finally got out of Labor and Delivery at about 11pm Monday night. They took me over to the Postpartum unit and I finally got all transferred by about 1am. We immediately went up to the NICU so I could see the baby. It was awesome. He was so precious. I was actually kind of nervous about seeing him since it had been so long since I had seen him. The NICU nurse asked if I wanted to breast feed. I said “sure, but I have no idea what I’m doing.” (I was supposed to take a breastfeeding class that week, ha!) She just stuck him on me and he immediately started sucking. It was the weirdest and coolest thing ever! I was so in love. We then decided that we would name him Patrick Murdock. Patrick after my dad and Murdock after Cary’s dad.

I didn’t get discharged from the hospital until Wednesday night (February 23rd). Yep, I spent 9 days in the hospital. My blood pressure stayed high the entire time I was in the hospital. I couldn’t sleep. I seriously slept 1 hour between Monday and Wednesday. That was so awful. I felt so weak and terrible. When we got home, my mom and dad were there and my grandparents (my dad’s parents). They had done an amazing job getting the house ready for us to come home. My parents had called in my Uncle Ricky to finish up the bathroom. I was thrilled. The house looked so great. What a relief. My family rocks!

So I’m a mom now and my baby boy is beyond amazing. It is so true that you really can’t fathom how much you can love someone until you have a child. I love this kid to pieces. It is such a blessing. I would do it all again in a second. In fact, I really want to do it all again at some point. I would love to have another baby. It is also so true that you don’t remember any of the bad stuff from the pregnancy or delivery. I mean do remember the bad stuff but I now realize it really wasn’t that bad. It was all worth it in the end, it was all worth it because I got the most precious gift from God at the end.

Patrick Murdock was born February 20, 2011 at 10:32pm. He weighed 6 lbs, 12 oz and was 19 inches long.

Pictures of Patrick

Here are a few pictures of my baby boy....
These were taken in the hospital, he was 3 days old. 
Another pic from his newborn session
Patrick and Daddy. He's about 1 month old here. 

Family pic. He's about 6 weeks old. 
That's all I've got for now. All my recent pictures are on my phone or still on my camera. I'll post more soon!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Back at Work

So it’s been quite a while since I have blogged. I’ll start by saying motherhood is way harder than I expected, but it’s also more wonderful than I ever expected too! :) So I’ve been back at work since May 9th and it sucks. I hate being at work because I miss my little guy. I took 12 weeks (only half of which were paid) but it still wasn’t enough. Man how I wish we had enough money and health insurance so I could stay at home. Once again my stupid diabetes means that without my job I couldn’t get health insurance for a reasonable price (read: over $900 a month for a family plan that includes me and that’s just the premium cost, nevermind actually using the plan!). Since my husband is self-employed it just isn’t feasible for us to get affordable insurance without my job. I hate that!

Working and being a mom with diabetes is pretty hard. I am a breastfeeding mama which I have found to be pretty difficult with the unpredictable effects it has on my blood sugar numbers. I cannot seem to find a pattern with how it will (or won’t) affect my numbers. I’m just trying to take it day by day and adjust when I can. I am pumping (milk) while back at work, twice a day during the work day. I nurse in the mornings and usually twice at night. I used to be annoyed by actually nursing because it took so long but now I just love sitting in the glider with my little boy and nursing him. Amazing how absence makes the heart grow fonder.

We still haven’t figured out the day care situation for the little guy. We have had some friends and my WONDERFUL Granny to help out. I think we have found someone through our church to watch him at her house but we still have to meet her face to face and make sure we feel comfortable with where he will be (she also can’t start until the 2nd week of June so we have been scrambling). It’s totally my fault we don’t have day care, I just kept putting it off thinking I wouldn’t have to go back to work. STUPID! I wish we could just win the lottery so I could quit my job and be the stay at home mom I’ve always dreamed of being! I’ll keep dreaming….and praying. :)

***I’ll post Patrick’s birth story soon! :) 

Saturday, March 12, 2011

37 Weeks

This post was written February 17th....

Monday I had my regular doctor's appointment for an NST only at 9:30am. I got to my appointment and they checked my urine and blood pressure like they always do. They found protein in my urine and when they took my blood pressure it was a little high (both signs of preeclampsia). I'm thinking, oh great, here we go....I haven't had any protein in my urine before now and my blood pressure hasn't even been borderline high, in fact it's been really low throughout the pregnancy. They went ahead and hooked me up to the monitor for the NST. I thought everything seemed normal but when the nurse came back with the results, they said the test wasn't showing accelerations like she wanted it to and I would have to go down to Labor and Delivery for further monitoring. At this point, I pretty much started to lose it and began bawling. I was so scared and upset. The nurse was very comforting and assured me everything would be fine, they just had to figure out what was going on. 

I headed down to Labor and Delivery still crying uncontrollably. I called Cary and his phone went straight to voicemail. I called work (because I was supposed to go to work after my appointment). I started sobbing again trying to explain what was going on and barely getting it out. My coworker assured me she would keep trying to call Cary.

I checked into L&D and they put me back on the monitor for the baby. They took my blood pressure and got another urine sample. They also drew blood work for my labs. Cary called me and I told him what had happened and he was on his way. It seemed like for a while, I would be having a Valentine’s Day baby, but once things were looking better on the monitor and my blood work came back normal, that seemed to be less likely. They wanted to admit me overnight for further monitoring just to make sure everything was OK.

So I checked into the hospital and began a 24 hour urine collection. They also did another round of monitoring the baby’s movements and scheduled a BPP for further evaluation and measurements of the baby. Everything with the baby looked good (baby’s estimated weight is 7 lbs, 5 oz.) and I would have to wait for the results of the urine collection before they made any further decisions.

I saw my doctor the next morning and he seemed positive that everything was looking good and I would be able to at least go home and be on bed rest. But all that changed when the urine came back and showed 3 times the normal amount of protein. He said I am staying put until the baby comes. BOO!!!! My blood pressure has still been running higher than normal but not crazy high. They are continuing to monitor my blood pressure, blood, and urine and we are in “wait and see” mode right now. Waiting to see how long we can wait until the baby HAS to come out or if we can hold off and let this little biscuit keep baking.

I am full term as of today but since I am diabetic, they are concerned that the lungs may not be fully developed so they want to keep the little guy inside as long as possible and as long as it’s safe for me and baby. They are shooting for getting me to 38 ½ weeks which would be around the 27th or 28th.

So, that’s what has been going on since Monday… it’s been a scary, crazy week of what had been a normal and uneventful pregnancy. I guess now I understand why they do all this monitoring, things changed so rapidly from last Thursday to the following Monday, it made my head spin. Just happy and very thankful that I made it as far as I did with no complications. As of today, my platelets went back up a little bit (which is good) and once we get my second round of 24 urine collection back tomorrow, we will know more. I’ll keep you updated!

OH, and did I mention Cary and I are supposed to see Brad Paisley Saturday night? I know this isn’t as important as my health and my baby’s health, but man I really wanted to go that concert on Saturday! Ah well, guess this is just preparing me for parenthood!

***Update: I had a healthy baby boy on February 20th at 10:32pm (I was 37 weeks and 3 days). His name is Patrick and he weighed 6 lbs, 12 oz and was 19 inches long. It has been a crazy few weeks trying to recover and take care of a newborn, but we are healthy and happy. I will try to update again soon! :)