10 Weeks

Today I am 10 weeks pregnant! YAY, finally in the double digits! My nausea has gotten much, much better, but really I shouldn’t complain because it wasn’t that bad to begin with (I never threw up, woo hoo!!). I think the main cause of my nausea was more my blood sugars than morning sickness. Trying to keep them steady is very difficult and I’ve had some low, lows (which can make you feel nauseous) and some rebound highs that basically make you feel like you are on a rollercoaster you never wanted to get on. It has taken a lot of adjustments, constant monitoring, juice boxes, and correction boluses, but at least for the moment I’m feeling good. The hormones of pregnancy, the growing baby and my own changing body make each week and sometimes each day, unpredictable.  I am working with an educator biweekly at my endocrinologist who helps me make insulin adjustments to my pump. It’s so nice to have someone to work with and just not feel so alone in all the daunting changes. It is really mind boggling just how much I’ve reduced my insulin since week 7. It’s hard to get used to seeing those low basal rates and insulin to carb ratios. I had so much insulin resistance from the time I found out I was pregnant until week 7, that I almost believed the lows would never arrive. I know resistance will be back at some point, but for now, I’m enjoying the low amounts of insulin.

 I had my second doctor’s appointment on Monday and everything looks perfect. They weighed me, checked my urine, and my blood pressure. Everything was perfect. The doctor was also able to hear the baby’s heartbeat through my belly. It was in the 160s so he’s predicting a girl (but noted not to go paint the nursery pink just yet).  He was very pleased with all my lab results and gave me a grade of an A+ and he said he doesn’t give those out very often.  I was beaming with pride! I don’t have another doctor’s appointment until September 9^th, so it will seem like forever before I can get another checkup on Betus.

Speaking of Betus, it seems she’s/he’s spreading out. I haven’t gained any weight on the scale but I swear my tummy is protruding. I bought a belly band so I don’t have to button my pants (fabulous!). Cary (my husband) said he wanted one too, but I think that may be a bad idea. J I’m seeing maternity clothing in my near future. I’m already partial to dresses, I don’t like anything (including elastic) on my stomach, It’s just not nearly as comfortable as a free flowing, unbinding, moo-moo….ok so it’s not a moo-moo but it doesn’t touch my belly, so it’s fantastic.

I am still pretty hormonal (just ask Cary) but I’m really trying to not be so crazy. It’s really hard though. I have no patience! My new saying is “Pregnancy does not breed patience.” Hopefully Cary will let me slide on some of the craziness; I am creating a human life after all. J The hormones are also making me cry at every sappy commercial. The latest favorite is the Subaru one. The dad is talking to his daughter through the window of the car as the car sits in the driveway ready to back out. The dad tells her things like don’t text while driving, stay off the freeways, etc, and then you see the girl in the driver’s seat is a 5 year old girl. Once she actually turns the key to start the car, she’s a teenager and her dad looks lovingly at her like he still sees the 5 year old girl, aahhhh, it gets me every time! I’m crying just describing it to you, seriously, I’ve got issues! Hopefully, I’ll get it together soon or it’ll get worse, who knows?!

Dear Baby

Dear Baby,

I have been thinking about you for a long time. I thought for a while in my life, that I didn’t really need to have a child to be happy, but I know I was mostly talking myself out of it because I knew how hard it would be. Now, knowing you are inside my little belly, blows my mind. I can’t believe how quickly you came into our lives once we decided to give it a try. I woke up June 29th, and I just felt like you might be there. I took the test and waited with your daddy while the test did it’s thing. Your daddy was actually the first to see the test, as he ran past me to the bathroom so he could see it first. He looked over at me as I walked in and with a big grin on his face said, “You’re Pregnant!”

This is the actual first positive test. We took one more later that day. 

I am beyond thrilled but also scared. I am doing everything I can to protect you and take care of you while you are living in my belly. It’s only the beginning but it’s already hard. The regular pregnancy stuff like hormones and nausea, make it much harder for your diabetic mommy.

I’ve had two doctors appointments so far and everything looks good. I got to peek in on you at 7 weeks (I think you still had a tail at that point) and hear your heart beat for the first time (142 beats a minute). You looked and sounded good. And today, at 9 weeks, 4 days I had my second appointment. Everything still looks good and I got to hear your heartbeat again, this time the heart rate was in the 160s! So relieved to hear that sound!

My pants started to get a little tight last week and I’ve been wearing a belly band to give you plenty of room to spread out. I can’t wait until you make yourself more pronuounced with an official bump! You aren’t due until March, which seems light years away, but I know it will go by so fast. I am trying to cherish every minute, without worrying every minute, and I am doing the best I can.

I am doing, and will do, everything I can to protect you. You are so wanted and so loved by your daddy and I. We can’t wait to meet you! We love you!

Love,

Your Mommy

Seeing Signs

I think I may have been on my dexcom (continuous glucose monitor) too long. But actually I have only been on it for about 3 months. Now when I see street signs, especially interstate signs with arrows underneath, I think of my CGM. 

You see, the CGM shows a graph and on the upper right hand corner a number with an arrow underneath. The arrows tell you how fast you are dropping or rising. 

Not only do I think of my CGM when I see these signs, I also think about the corresponding feeling associated with that number and arrow. For example, when I see an Interstate 65 sign (which is the sign I most often see in Louisville, KY) with a down arrow, I think yowsers, that is going to be a really crappy low and I better get some juice fast! I think being pregnant has made me look at this thing about every 5-10 minutes, it’s making me crazy!

Crazy Person

Today I had my first real pregnancy hormonal breakdown, or rather blow up. I woke up and rolled over to grab my crackers before getting out of bed (as has become the custom since morning sickness started) only to find I had forgotten my crackers downstairs the night before. UGH!!! There was no way I could even sit up, much less get out of bed without anything in my stomach. No problem, I’ll just call my husband who is downstairs and he’ll bring them up to me, problem solved, right?! I called, no answer. I called again, no answer. Ok, I’ll call his other number, no answer. Ok, I’ll try his cell phone again, no answer. So, here I lie in agony and I can’t yell for him because I know he will never hear me over the TV. And, if I do try to yell I’d probably spew all over myself. So, I lie in agony for about 15 minutes trying to make myself get out of bed. I finally do get out of bed and walk downstairs to find my husband in his office with the door cracked, TV blaring. I pop open the door and greet him with “Why don’t you answer your freakin’ phone!?” He looks back at me startled and grabs his phone out of his pocket and explains it was on vibrate and he didn’t feel it. I just glared back. He asks why I was calling him to which I explained the nausea situation. I continue with my morning, grabbing some crackers before getting in the shower. I am miserable even after my shower and I just sit in the bathroom feeling sorry for myself. Then, after a couple of minutes, I get even more mad about the not answering the phone incident, and my anger grows even more when I realize he hasn’t even checked on me and I can hear him laughing hysterically watching “The cable guy.” How dare he enjoy himself when I am unwell?! I go into the room and sit on the bed while exhaling loudly. He turns to look at me and asks “what’s wrong?” I simply say “I don’t like you very much right now.” His face is complete confusion. I explain that I need him to be there for me, even when I don’t ask. He explains that he is trying and is sorry. I start crying and tell him I’m sorry for being crazy. I tell him “I love you.” And he replies the same. I leave for work. First pregnancy blow up down, how many more to go? Being a crazy person is exhausting.

So, I'm pregnant...

And I still can’t believe how quickly it happened. It all started in March when we decided we were going to start “trying” in July. I got the “good to go” from my endocrinologist as my A1c was 6.1%. I went off the pill in April and we started using alternate birth control (i.e. condoms). We went to St. Louis Memorial Day weekend as an early anniversary trip, and well, we started “trying”, or rather not preventing. I had my last period on May 26th and BOOM, I took a pregnancy test on June 29th and it was positive! I went to the doctor to get a blood test done just to confirm, and they confirmed that I was about 4 weeks pregnant. The timing was actually perfect, because the next day we were going to FL to see all of our family (including my parents and my husband’s parents). It was so fun to tell everyone we were pregnant. My mother just kept saying “YOU’RE KIDDING!” over and over again (this is my parents first grandchild, my husband’s parents 4th). When we got back from vacation on July 13th, I had my first OBGYN appointment. It was the first time my husband and I had met the doctor, so I was a little nervous. He was just great though and we both instantly liked him and felt comfortable with him. I went back the following week for blood work (carrying with me my bright orange jug ‘o urine). All the tests came back fine (including the urine) and my A1c was 5.9%!! Woo hoo! I had my first ultrasound this past Friday and it was amazing! We got to see our little peanut or rather “Betus the fetus”, as we now refer to it (as in “DIA-BE-TUS”, as in those old commercials where Wilford Brimley says “If you have DIABETUS, like I have DIABETUS, call Liberty today”….anyway, I digress). We also got to hear the heartbeat which was also AMAZING!!! As of today, I am 8 weeks and 1 day. So far this pregnancy has been “by the book”, the usual nausea and extreme tiredness. But, as with anything, when you add diabetes to the mix, it makes everything more “fun.” The nausea has been tricky, because on a few occasions, I have taken insulin to cover what I’m going to eat but then after starting to eat, that said food just doesn’t seem as appetizing as it did say, oh, 5 minutes ago! But, I already took my insulin and now I must suffer through it, or some other substitute to cover the carbs. I know this is just the beginning but I know all the yuck stuff will definitely be worth it in March when I am holding my perfect little baby.