quote


"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you

meet is fighting some kind of battle."





Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Patrick's Birth Story

Patrick’s birth story started February 14th. I left my house that morning thinking I was going to a doctor’s appointment then going to work. (To see that story, see my post for 37 weeks.) Who knew that when I left that morning, I would return home 9 DAYS later! So crazy! Which means nothing was ready. I had no bag packed, the house was a mess, the bathroom renovation was not complete, and Patrick’s room wasn’t ready. So fun!



So, to pick up where we left off….It was Thursday, February 17th…I sat in the hospital day after day, bored out of my mind. I missed my puppies terribly and I just wanted to go home. I realized I shouldn’t be complaining when the girl in the room next to me had been there since she was 13 weeks pregnant and had been there a total of 15 weeks! I would be a crazy person! (I have no idea why or what her condition was.) My blood pressure continued to stay elevated and my urine collection continued to climb. The doctor wanted to change the plan and shoot for an induction on Tuesday. Then that changed to Sunday when my blood pressure continued to climb. But all those plans changed again when my parents came in on Friday night.


My parents came Friday night and Cary had just gotten off work. We were all chatting and I guess the stress (even though good stress) made my blood pressure sky rocket. The nurse came in to take my blood pressure and it was 191/100!!! Yeah, great huh?! So I started stressing out about that which I’m sure made it even worse. I was thinking I was going to have to have an emergency C-section that night if it didn’t come down (the doctor never said that, but my hypochondriac mind did).


Saturday, the doctor came in to check me out and said we were going to try the induction on Sunday. My blood pressure was not looking good and it seemed like I was just getting worse more quickly than they would like. So, we would give the induction a go Sunday afternoon around 5pm. Patrick, however, had other plans.

I got up Sunday morning and took a shower, changed clothes, blow dried my hair and suddenly I had to pee. I went into the bathroom and there wasn’t any toilet paper. I went out into the hallway to get some toilet paper and suddenly I couldn’t hold my pee anymore. I ran back in my room the bathroom and I just started gushing. I yelled to Cary, “I think my water just broke, or either I just peed in my pants!” He went to get the nurse and she came in with some kind of strip to test to see if the fluid was indeed amniotic fluid. The strip turned blue or green or some color I can’t remember, which was a positive that my water had indeed broken! So immediately the plans began to get my down to labor and delivery. This was about 10:15am.


At labor and delivery they hooked up the IVs and started the Pitocin. They put the catheter in, which was horribly uncomfortable. Apparently I have a very tiny urethra, the nurse attempted it twice and then another nurse finally got it in using a pediatric catheter. The insertion was so awful. I progressed to about 3 cm in a couple hours. That was when I asked for the epidural. The epidural was a piece of cake, I’ve honestly had finger sticks and pod insertions that hurt worse than that thing. A few hours later, I was at 6cm, then 9 and by about 8pm, I was ready to push.


The pushing began and now in retrospect, I see I was not pushing correctly. I really couldn’t feel anything. I was pushing from my face. I had too much epidural. I couldn’t even feel the pressure from the contraction because I was too numb. That was a bummer. During the pushing I got really nauseous and puked a few times, though it was just water. They had to put oxygen on me at one point because I don’t think Patrick was getting enough. I pushed for 2 hours before Cary told the doctor, “This isn’t working, we need to try something else.” The baby’s head kept ‘turtling’(coming out when I pushed, but immediately retracting when I relaxed). The doctor suggested an episiotomy and forceps. We discussed and decided we would go for it. I was so exhausted by this point and was hoping I wouldn’t have to have a C-section. They brought the giant salad tongs in, um I mean, the forceps. (Yeah, that’s exactly what they looked like. Cary was completely freaked out.) I pushed a few more times and we had a beautiful baby boy!

It was so amazing! They didn’t hand him to me immediately. They took him to the little incubator thing to the side and got him cleaned up and checked him out. His lungs didn’t sound exactly right when he cried (it sounded like he couldn’t clear something out) and they wanted to take him to the NICU to make sure he was OK. I got to hold him for maybe 5 minutes and then he was gone. I was sad of course but I just wanted him to be OK. The neonatologist came in and started rambling through a list of things that could possibly be wrong with my baby. He went on, and on, and on….only to end the speech with “but with all that said, your baby will be fine.” REALLY!? You couldn’t have started with that piece of information? Geez!


I wore my pump the entire labor and delivery. My blood sugar had started to climb while I was pushing but I was terrified to take a bolus since I thought I would crash from all the work of pushing, so I didn’t bolus. Big MISTAKE. Of course I couldn’t have known that my body would react the way it did, but I felt so horrible a few hours after delivery. I had to stay in the delivery room for 24 hours after the birth on a Magnesium drip for my blood pressure. It was awful. They would come check me every few hours and everytime I had to move at all, I would dry heave. I was so sick to my stomach and my blood sugar was in the high 300s. I hadn't had a blood sugar above 200 in about 7 months so this was quite a bad feeling. I kept bolusing with my pump but nothing was happening. I just kept climbing. I was so scared. I told the nurse and she called my endo. He ordered 10 units of Humalog. She gave me a shot and we waited an hour. It still hadn’t budged. The endo ordered another 10 units. We waited another hour. It finally started coming down and I was relieved. I still couldn’t have any water at this point and I have NEVER been so thirsty in my entire life. I could have ice chips, but for some reason that just wasn’t the same. I needed to swallow, I needed water. The Magnesium kept me feeling very “drugged up.” I was like a zombie. In between my zombie-ness, Cary would come in with videos he had taken from the NICU of our baby. He was yet to be named at this point since I didn’t want to name him until I could see him again.

I finally got out of Labor and Delivery at about 11pm Monday night. They took me over to the Postpartum unit and I finally got all transferred by about 1am. We immediately went up to the NICU so I could see the baby. It was awesome. He was so precious. I was actually kind of nervous about seeing him since it had been so long since I had seen him. The NICU nurse asked if I wanted to breast feed. I said “sure, but I have no idea what I’m doing.” (I was supposed to take a breastfeeding class that week, ha!) She just stuck him on me and he immediately started sucking. It was the weirdest and coolest thing ever! I was so in love. We then decided that we would name him Patrick Murdock. Patrick after my dad and Murdock after Cary’s dad.


I didn’t get discharged from the hospital until Wednesday night (February 23rd). Yep, I spent 9 days in the hospital. My blood pressure stayed high the entire time I was in the hospital. I couldn’t sleep. I seriously slept 1 hour between Monday and Wednesday. That was so awful. I felt so weak and terrible. When we got home, my mom and dad were there and my grandparents (my dad’s parents). They had done an amazing job getting the house ready for us to come home. My parents had called in my Uncle Ricky to finish up the bathroom. I was thrilled. The house looked so great. What a relief. My family rocks!


So I’m a mom now and my baby boy is beyond amazing. It is so true that you really can’t fathom how much you can love someone until you have a child. I love this kid to pieces. It is such a blessing. I would do it all again in a second. In fact, I really want to do it all again at some point. I would love to have another baby. It is also so true that you don’t remember any of the bad stuff from the pregnancy or delivery. I mean do remember the bad stuff but I now realize it really wasn’t that bad. It was all worth it in the end, it was all worth it because I got the most precious gift from God at the end.


Patrick Murdock was born February 20, 2011 at 10:32pm. He weighed 6 lbs, 12 oz and was 19 inches long.

Pictures of Patrick

Here are a few pictures of my baby boy....
These were taken in the hospital, he was 3 days old. 
Another pic from his newborn session
Patrick and Daddy. He's about 1 month old here. 

Family pic. He's about 6 weeks old. 
That's all I've got for now. All my recent pictures are on my phone or still on my camera. I'll post more soon!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Back at Work

So it’s been quite a while since I have blogged. I’ll start by saying motherhood is way harder than I expected, but it’s also more wonderful than I ever expected too! :) So I’ve been back at work since May 9th and it sucks. I hate being at work because I miss my little guy. I took 12 weeks (only half of which were paid) but it still wasn’t enough. Man how I wish we had enough money and health insurance so I could stay at home. Once again my stupid diabetes means that without my job I couldn’t get health insurance for a reasonable price (read: over $900 a month for a family plan that includes me and that’s just the premium cost, nevermind actually using the plan!). Since my husband is self-employed it just isn’t feasible for us to get affordable insurance without my job. I hate that!




Working and being a mom with diabetes is pretty hard. I am a breastfeeding mama which I have found to be pretty difficult with the unpredictable effects it has on my blood sugar numbers. I cannot seem to find a pattern with how it will (or won’t) affect my numbers. I’m just trying to take it day by day and adjust when I can. I am pumping (milk) while back at work, twice a day during the work day. I nurse in the mornings and usually twice at night. I used to be annoyed by actually nursing because it took so long but now I just love sitting in the glider with my little boy and nursing him. Amazing how absence makes the heart grow fonder.



We still haven’t figured out the day care situation for the little guy. We have had some friends and my WONDERFUL Granny to help out. I think we have found someone through our church to watch him at her house but we still have to meet her face to face and make sure we feel comfortable with where he will be (she also can’t start until the 2nd week of June so we have been scrambling). It’s totally my fault we don’t have day care, I just kept putting it off thinking I wouldn’t have to go back to work. STUPID! I wish we could just win the lottery so I could quit my job and be the stay at home mom I’ve always dreamed of being! I’ll keep dreaming….and praying. :)



***I’ll post Patrick’s birth story soon! :)